How to be a relaxed first time parent

Be relaxed from the beginning!
Don't learn to mellow out with just the later children!
As your older children will notice the difference and take it personal. Not knowing that you learned what was not always good ideas in raising babies or small little ones. Learning that they really do not dissolve in water or disappear if you just blink your eyes. That you did not have to be a worry wart.

Now if you were raised with lots of bothers and sisters or huge families with little ones around you all the time. You would already know all that! But being a only small child in an older generation, nope no learning there! Even if later in your life babysitting once in awhile, it is just not the same thing as parenting for real on a daily basis, so no real learning there!

Big projects also would be good to have out of the way at certain ages or have children doing play visits away from all the work activity. It really has an affect on them in feeling lost in it all! Or even in having too many people visiting at one time can make them feel lost and left out! That did not bother me as a child if I was visiting my Grand parents home and projects were under way or huge groups of the family came for dinners, all sitting around the big huge table. But then that was not at my home where it all could have been over whelming.

I see why they say have your children close together:) Older children who had all of the attention for years, suddenly finds someone else has to be cared for full time, as they are helpless to do anything for themselves. Of course the older child does not understand that part of it and takes it very personal, so may feel unloved at times. It may even follow them into adulthood, if they never get the reasoning behind what is really taking place. Say that you love them ... a lot .. when you are all together. I love you and you and you:) Yes, make it public, along with the private moments, that I love all of you! It is Real important!

Also close together.. They then learn how to share in playing together!
Even if they don't understand their parents may not be rich enough to have different toys for each child!
They then learn to share from the parents gifts for all!
From the children toy box for all the children.
Or the parents gifts of children books for all the children.

Maybe that is why ones love being a Grand Parent? Now it is all relaxed fun for everyone !